It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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