You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
