EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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