the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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