Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Randomize
