i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
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Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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