On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
