he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
