i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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