I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
