you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
