So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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