omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.