Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.