Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
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i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
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and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted