is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
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Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.