So gin and wine won't be happening again
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
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I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
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Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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