I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
