singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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