Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
