I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
