Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
accomplished twins. life is a go
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Randomize
