his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
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I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
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That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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