i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
