On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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