? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
