i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Panties = found
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize