Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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