shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Bring me that man meat
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
