she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
