How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
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He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize