Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
