Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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