when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
