Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
