someone threw a dead crab at me
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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