Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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