i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
