Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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