My balls are so social today.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
