Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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