I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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