possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
