And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
