i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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