wat bout pragnant strippers??
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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