who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
