so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
