So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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