She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
