it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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