...so i touched it.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
