are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
