I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
