she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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