umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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