Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
