first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
