Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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