He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
