mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
