Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
