I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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