how can u be prego again
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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