i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
