I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
