ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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