i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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