Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
