Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
