i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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