I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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