You're so nebulous sometimes
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
