I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She bit a glass in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize